Dear Miss Know it All,
I hate riding hills. I know it will make me stronger but I hate them. Don’t hate me but how do I stop hating the hills and stop hating my friends who like them?
Dear Hill Hater,
Hills are tough. I’m not going to lie to you (not yet), it can be hard to get yourself psyched up for something you don’t like. I can tell you all day long why it’s important to do it, but that won’t make you like them. So, plan B is to give you some fun stuff to think about while you go up them.
Number one: fantasize. About what you ask? Whatever fills your tubes. For me it’s about someone coming to clean up boy pee from the walls, toilets, and floors. For you, it might be about getting an all expense paid vacation to Albuquerque.
Number two: Stroke (not that way) yourself. Tell yourself how amazing you are. How fast you are. How strong you are. How awesome you look in your lycra. Tell yourself whatever it takes to get to the top of that hill.
Number three: Pretend. Pretend the fastest one up the hill dies last. Pretend the first one up the hill will have the least amount of wrinkles in 20 years. Pretend whatever you want. Just pretend. NIKE can totally borrow that from me. For a small price.
Number four: Last but not least, buck up. Hills make you stronger and even if they don’t, doing something you don’t want to do, will.
Thanks for asking!
Your song is ‘Fighter’ by Christina Aguilera.